I pray the Lord, my soul to keep
Every night we pray this before bedtime with Jacob. And before, I would always wrap up the prayer with praying for Jacob and people we knew. One of the girls at bible study mentioned that she asks her son what he wants to pray for. Such a simple thing, and yet was one of those, why haven't I done that moments.
Since then, I have asked Jacob what he would like to pray for. And because he is a MASSIVE creature of habit, I pretty much know what he will pray for and in what order.
First we pray for B (his blanket), Baa (his stuffed sheep) and Nuk. We pray that they bring him comfort and peace during the night to help him sleep.
May God guide me, through the night
Then he wants to pray for Dada. And I help him "pick" what we pray for, good day at work, safe travels, more play time, etc.
Next, comes Momma. (yea, i know, i rank 5th...) Again, I help pick, but mine is usually for patience. Can never have too much of that with a toddler....
Then it depends. We thank God for the blessings of books, Mo's (motorcycles), 4 wheelers, trucks, and anything else he can think of.
I will usually wrap up the prayer for specific things for friends and family, new baby Avery has been a popular one this week, and when I say "In Your name we pray" Jacob starts chiming in with "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAmen". I love it. Sweetest part of our day.
We read the same books for bed, and a favorite is "God's Little Lamb" which is sang/read to the tune of Baa Baa Black Sheep. J LOVES this book, and his new thing is to sing "baa baa" throughout the book, and then giggle like a madman when we say it at the same time. :)
After books, we pray, then sing songs. I always sing "You are My Sunshine" and every night Jacob interrupts me to ask "one more?" at least once during the song. And I have to say "yes Jacob, we will sing one more after this song" otherwise he keeps asking. Song number 2 depends on how late it is, and how much patience i have... Sometimes we do "All God's Children", "Jesus Loves Me", one of his all time favorites Revelation Song or Forever Reign. It's my favorite thing, cuz he just SNUGGLES right in, and we rock. Believe me, i was not blessed with a singing voice, but J doesnt care about that.
After we wrap up rocking and singing, as I stand up, he reaches to touch his own back, and quietely says "Back?". His way of asking me to rub his back when I lay him down in his crib for a few minutes before I leave the room. And I say yes every night.
And wake me with the morning light
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Friday, October 11, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Small Group - Large Impact
I had dinner with a friend last night. One who has encouraged me, challenged me to be better, forced me out of my box. I love friends like that. Ones who see the person you can be, and push you (in a gentle manner) to be that person, to help you see who they see. (if that makes sense.)
She is a large factor as to why I started my own bible study group. I have been wanting to join one again for awhile, but just wasnt finding quite what I was looking for. I wrestled with starting my own group. Could I truly lead a group of women, when I feel like I am still learning God's grace and love on a daily basis? I didnt trust that I could. Finally, I did it. And as much as I would love to say it instantly took off it didnt.
My group was listed for about a month, before I had anyone contact me. That is like torture. I questioned myself. I questioned if this was the path God was leading me on, or if I was just "hearing" what I wanted to. I felt rejected. I had put myself out there, on the line, and nothing.
But, I should know by now, God does things on his time, not mine. (I'm sure it's not a lesson I have mastered yet either). And one by one, I started getting emails from girls from church I had never met. Women who wanted fellowship. Mother's who wanted to raise their children in Christ's love. During this time, I had also met one of our new neighbors who has a son 4 months older than Jacob. I had joked (kinda, was half serious) with Mike that I was going to start stalking her, and make her be my friend. I don't know a lot of moms in my area, especially with young boys.
She had invited us to her son's bday party, and of course Jacob approved since there were John Deere's and cake involved, and I was even more committed to my stalking project when their family prayed before the birthday meal. (In full disclosure, I have told my neighbor about my stalking plans, and luckily she still talks to me :))
I decided to go out on a limb and invite her to join my group. It was another one of those moments I wrestled, and sweated buckets over. I mean seriously, I didnt want to come across as the crazy neighbor (which I'm sure I did) and I could count on one hand the amount of times I've talked to her.
So, there started my group. Two girls I have never met, and another one I practically hog tied and drug to my house. It has been the best thing for my faith, sanity, and motherhood this year. We now have 5 of us, and meet every week.
I realized I don't need all the answers. And they are not looking for all the answers. Just to be able to have friends you can share the day to day mundane child rearing, mother guilt, wife tasks, etc, and have people who understand is phenomenal. I love Monday nights. I feel so light hearted, and inspired by these women.
It makes me a better mom, wife, me, and Christ follower. I have new ideas on prayer with Jacob, on how to show him Christ's love, and knowing I dont need to be perfect. I'm so excited to see where God leads us, and how we will grow and challenge each other.
In case you are wondering we finished Out of the Spin Cycle this past week. I would HIGHLY recommend it to mother's looking for a humorous, as well as thought provoking book. The chapters are short, so it's easy to read even if you are in the trenches of motherhood. If you do read it, let me know, I would LOVE to see what your thoughts are one it!
She is a large factor as to why I started my own bible study group. I have been wanting to join one again for awhile, but just wasnt finding quite what I was looking for. I wrestled with starting my own group. Could I truly lead a group of women, when I feel like I am still learning God's grace and love on a daily basis? I didnt trust that I could. Finally, I did it. And as much as I would love to say it instantly took off it didnt.
My group was listed for about a month, before I had anyone contact me. That is like torture. I questioned myself. I questioned if this was the path God was leading me on, or if I was just "hearing" what I wanted to. I felt rejected. I had put myself out there, on the line, and nothing.
But, I should know by now, God does things on his time, not mine. (I'm sure it's not a lesson I have mastered yet either). And one by one, I started getting emails from girls from church I had never met. Women who wanted fellowship. Mother's who wanted to raise their children in Christ's love. During this time, I had also met one of our new neighbors who has a son 4 months older than Jacob. I had joked (kinda, was half serious) with Mike that I was going to start stalking her, and make her be my friend. I don't know a lot of moms in my area, especially with young boys.
She had invited us to her son's bday party, and of course Jacob approved since there were John Deere's and cake involved, and I was even more committed to my stalking project when their family prayed before the birthday meal. (In full disclosure, I have told my neighbor about my stalking plans, and luckily she still talks to me :))
I decided to go out on a limb and invite her to join my group. It was another one of those moments I wrestled, and sweated buckets over. I mean seriously, I didnt want to come across as the crazy neighbor (which I'm sure I did) and I could count on one hand the amount of times I've talked to her.
So, there started my group. Two girls I have never met, and another one I practically hog tied and drug to my house. It has been the best thing for my faith, sanity, and motherhood this year. We now have 5 of us, and meet every week.
I realized I don't need all the answers. And they are not looking for all the answers. Just to be able to have friends you can share the day to day mundane child rearing, mother guilt, wife tasks, etc, and have people who understand is phenomenal. I love Monday nights. I feel so light hearted, and inspired by these women.
It makes me a better mom, wife, me, and Christ follower. I have new ideas on prayer with Jacob, on how to show him Christ's love, and knowing I dont need to be perfect. I'm so excited to see where God leads us, and how we will grow and challenge each other.
In case you are wondering we finished Out of the Spin Cycle this past week. I would HIGHLY recommend it to mother's looking for a humorous, as well as thought provoking book. The chapters are short, so it's easy to read even if you are in the trenches of motherhood. If you do read it, let me know, I would LOVE to see what your thoughts are one it!
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Cookies & Sleep
So, Mike has been travelling more for work. And as you can see, when he leaves, Jacob figures that means cookies for dinner. He loves to "help" in the kitchen, so if the door is open, that means free reign for him to pull stuff out to play with.
Last night I was getting some veggies out, and obviously someone did not want veggies. He pulled the bag of cookies out of the freezer, which I didnt think much of, becuase the bag was sealed.
As you can see, someone figured out how to open the bag... To which I thought, fine, it keeps him entertained, and the cookies were frozen, so he won't eat them. He proved me wrong. He gnawed on the cookies until pieces broke off. He would bite off one, then take a bite out of another one.
By the time i got him into the high chair, he had death grip on 3 cookies... I think he gets the sweet tooth from his daddy.
He was having a blast climbing into the suitcase, pulling stuff out, and shutting hte top on himself.
We also reached a new milestone, he slept "through" the night last night. He went to bed at 7:30, woke up at 10:30, and back to sleep until 5:30. That is UNHEARD of at our house. He has never slept that well, or that long. Maybe this one nap thing isn't so bad!
The new game at dinner is to eat as much as possible. When he "finishes" he will sign all done, and then scream while you get the wash cloth ready to clean him up. As you are taking the tray off of the chair, he will grab as much food as possible, and shove it in his mouth with one hand, and keep grabbing at the tray with the other. It's a few seconds of tug of war while he shovels in extra food (if you leave the tray, he screams, so it's not that he's still hungry). Then, he realized all the food he has stashed on his clothes, and his chair, and will eat that while you are putting the tray down. As you can see above, it was spagetti night, and surprisingly, some food did make it into his mouth.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Day 5 - Record & Day 6 - Grace
So, to play catch up, I'm going to post 2 days of intentional parenting!
Day 5 is recording the moments found in those 10 minutes of intentional time set apart each day.
I'm supposed to ask Jacob what his favorite moments were during that time, but I'm guessing he would just sign all done to me, or screech and run away, so I am going to guess as to what he would say (based off of what he wanted to do).
1. reading Little blue truck, MULTIPLE times
2. Pushing him around on his tractor or in his dump truck.
3. Reading Little blue truck leads the way. multiple times
4. Tearing out the bowls and lids from the tupperware cupboard
5. Reading Doggies. Multiple times.
6. Playing airplane
Activity for day 5 was to eat dinner as a family (which we do 95% of the time), and let the child pick out the meal. If that was the case, we would eat black beans, puffs, a pouch of baby food and bananas. So, he ate that, and i made some other stuff for Mike and i to eat as well...
Day 6: Grace
I love the post on Grace. It is so easy to get wrapped into the trap of believing you are doing it all wrong. That you are failing. I had a friend email me last week in response to my blog, and said something along the lines of wishing she could do stuff that i do as a mother. It blew me away.
I am always comparing myself to other mothers, feeling like I am falling short compared to them (this friend being one). And it's so easy to do. It's easy to look at someone else, and the pics they have posted on fb, or the blog they have, or the pinterst posts, and think, "they know what they are doing. They have it all together". You think that they have discovered "the secret" and somehow, they are thriving in this new life. it's effortless to them.
And then you look at yourself. Your house is a mess. Laundry is EVERYWHERE. Dirty hair in a ponytail. Dirty clothes on. The baby is crying. Or won't sleep through the night. Work is just enough to get by. And you feel like throwing in the towel. I often wonder, how do they do it? What am I missing? WHy doesn't it seem this hard for them?
But, I'm not that mother. And although I can relate, I don't know what all her struggles are. What shortcuts she takes to get thru the day. What areas are on the back burner to shift for the more important ones. We all need to give ourselves grace.
So, what are 5 things i can do on a hard day to change the tone of the day:
1. Go to caribou :)
2. Call a friend
3. Take a hot bubble bath and eat dark chocolate
4. Pray. Often.
5. Snuggle up with Jacob and smell his soft downy hair
THe other journaling topic, what time of day seems most challenging for Jacob? What could I do to help him?
Between 6 and 7:15 are the hardest part of the day for him. He just wants to snuggle or be read to after getting home, while dinner is waiting to be made. And if he's sleepy, bath time can become very challenging. To help him out, we've let him watch videos (of either jd tractors or chuck & friends) or I will hold him when I'm doing dinner stuff that is not dangerous around him. From after dinner to bath time, both Mike and I play on the floor with him, which also helps.
Day 5 is recording the moments found in those 10 minutes of intentional time set apart each day.
I'm supposed to ask Jacob what his favorite moments were during that time, but I'm guessing he would just sign all done to me, or screech and run away, so I am going to guess as to what he would say (based off of what he wanted to do).
1. reading Little blue truck, MULTIPLE times
2. Pushing him around on his tractor or in his dump truck.
3. Reading Little blue truck leads the way. multiple times
4. Tearing out the bowls and lids from the tupperware cupboard
5. Reading Doggies. Multiple times.
6. Playing airplane
Activity for day 5 was to eat dinner as a family (which we do 95% of the time), and let the child pick out the meal. If that was the case, we would eat black beans, puffs, a pouch of baby food and bananas. So, he ate that, and i made some other stuff for Mike and i to eat as well...
Day 6: Grace
I love the post on Grace. It is so easy to get wrapped into the trap of believing you are doing it all wrong. That you are failing. I had a friend email me last week in response to my blog, and said something along the lines of wishing she could do stuff that i do as a mother. It blew me away.
I am always comparing myself to other mothers, feeling like I am falling short compared to them (this friend being one). And it's so easy to do. It's easy to look at someone else, and the pics they have posted on fb, or the blog they have, or the pinterst posts, and think, "they know what they are doing. They have it all together". You think that they have discovered "the secret" and somehow, they are thriving in this new life. it's effortless to them.
And then you look at yourself. Your house is a mess. Laundry is EVERYWHERE. Dirty hair in a ponytail. Dirty clothes on. The baby is crying. Or won't sleep through the night. Work is just enough to get by. And you feel like throwing in the towel. I often wonder, how do they do it? What am I missing? WHy doesn't it seem this hard for them?
But, I'm not that mother. And although I can relate, I don't know what all her struggles are. What shortcuts she takes to get thru the day. What areas are on the back burner to shift for the more important ones. We all need to give ourselves grace.
So, what are 5 things i can do on a hard day to change the tone of the day:
1. Go to caribou :)
2. Call a friend
3. Take a hot bubble bath and eat dark chocolate
4. Pray. Often.
5. Snuggle up with Jacob and smell his soft downy hair
THe other journaling topic, what time of day seems most challenging for Jacob? What could I do to help him?
Between 6 and 7:15 are the hardest part of the day for him. He just wants to snuggle or be read to after getting home, while dinner is waiting to be made. And if he's sleepy, bath time can become very challenging. To help him out, we've let him watch videos (of either jd tractors or chuck & friends) or I will hold him when I'm doing dinner stuff that is not dangerous around him. From after dinner to bath time, both Mike and I play on the floor with him, which also helps.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Day 4 - Listen
So, i have been slacking on the blogging aspect of the intentional parenting series, but i have been doing the "homework" at home! who knew that there are limited hours in a day, and surprisingly, you need to sleep and go to work....
The discussion was on how as parents, we tend to ignore some of the times our children ask for our attention, because we are too busy.
Too busy making dinner.
too busy checking emails
too busy working
too busy talking ourselves
too busy cleaning
too busy being distracted
This teaches kids that we don't value them. That whatever we are doing is more important then them. I know at times, you are too busy to stop and listen, but most the time, would the 2 seconds it takes really mess up what you are doing?
Think about how it feels when someone ignores you. Hurtful, like you don't matter, that you are not as important, that you are not worthy.
I don't want Jacob to think these things about himself. I don't want to treat him this way.
Journaling:
1.How much time do you spend on media each day?
More than i need to. it's so easy with a smart phone and ipad to just look "quick". then i get distracted, or in a time suck of fb and pinterest.
2.Do you take time in your day for prayer? Mothers need to set inentional time to recharge our own batteries, if we are empty we have nothing to give.
I'm ashamed to admit it's not consistent. I will pray when something is weighing on my heart, when i want to lift a loved one up, or when i need help. I was doing well that when i put jacob to bed, i prayed. But, to be intentional, i need to set up a time of day and do it. I used to journal my prayers, and that really helped me to focus, and that is my plan to start doign again.
3.How can you set aside time for yourself each day?
At night after Jacob is in bed. I like to read before bed, but lately have been so exhausted that i just go to bed. I should go 10 min earlier, and just take that time to relax and just be alone.
The discussion was on how as parents, we tend to ignore some of the times our children ask for our attention, because we are too busy.
Too busy making dinner.
too busy checking emails
too busy working
too busy talking ourselves
too busy cleaning
too busy being distracted
This teaches kids that we don't value them. That whatever we are doing is more important then them. I know at times, you are too busy to stop and listen, but most the time, would the 2 seconds it takes really mess up what you are doing?
Think about how it feels when someone ignores you. Hurtful, like you don't matter, that you are not as important, that you are not worthy.
I don't want Jacob to think these things about himself. I don't want to treat him this way.
Journaling:
1.How much time do you spend on media each day?
More than i need to. it's so easy with a smart phone and ipad to just look "quick". then i get distracted, or in a time suck of fb and pinterest.
2.Do you take time in your day for prayer? Mothers need to set inentional time to recharge our own batteries, if we are empty we have nothing to give.
I'm ashamed to admit it's not consistent. I will pray when something is weighing on my heart, when i want to lift a loved one up, or when i need help. I was doing well that when i put jacob to bed, i prayed. But, to be intentional, i need to set up a time of day and do it. I used to journal my prayers, and that really helped me to focus, and that is my plan to start doign again.
3.How can you set aside time for yourself each day?
At night after Jacob is in bed. I like to read before bed, but lately have been so exhausted that i just go to bed. I should go 10 min earlier, and just take that time to relax and just be alone.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Day 3 - See
Sorry, i got distracted by my family over the weekend, and really didnt make time to post, so will be for day 3, which i did on Saturday.
Today's task was to document my day. Not cleaning first, just our day to day stuff. Just an fyi, these pics were all with the phone camera, so not real high quality, but you get the point!
Journaling questions:
1. Was it easy to devote intentional time to your child today?
Yes, it's been easier if I have been intentional about it. Plus, with meeting the playdate, we had lots of time together, and got a new book to read as a gift. It was a Saturday, and my turn to get up early with Jacob, so we had lots of time together.
2. What things were distracting?
Lots!! Messy house, going out to dinner for Mike's bday, the pull of wanting to work on Christmas projects, laundry, must i go on??
3. Is there a slot in your schedule to make the 10 min chunks of time a priority? WHere?
Yes. Really easy on the weekends, but on weekdays, I am going to try to do at 5:30ish. Basically, when we get home, and after i have popped dinner in, and have at least 20 min before i need to mess with dinner again.
Day 4 will be today.I didn't do on Sunday, I was too distracted with spending time with the family, and never got on the comp to read the day first.
For more info on Intentional parenting, go to Finding Joy. Find Day 2: Heart here and Day 1: Awake here.
Today's task was to document my day. Not cleaning first, just our day to day stuff. Just an fyi, these pics were all with the phone camera, so not real high quality, but you get the point!
 |
| Riding the indoor JD before nap |
 |
| Celebrating birthdays with my Amma Mamas |
 |
| Some of the birthday kids, Jacob rying to make a break for it |
 |
| So sleepy after playdate |
 |
| Running with the tractor |
 |
| Riding down the driveway |
 |
| Jacob's fav time of day, reading time |
Journaling questions:
1. Was it easy to devote intentional time to your child today?
Yes, it's been easier if I have been intentional about it. Plus, with meeting the playdate, we had lots of time together, and got a new book to read as a gift. It was a Saturday, and my turn to get up early with Jacob, so we had lots of time together.
2. What things were distracting?
Lots!! Messy house, going out to dinner for Mike's bday, the pull of wanting to work on Christmas projects, laundry, must i go on??
3. Is there a slot in your schedule to make the 10 min chunks of time a priority? WHere?
Yes. Really easy on the weekends, but on weekdays, I am going to try to do at 5:30ish. Basically, when we get home, and after i have popped dinner in, and have at least 20 min before i need to mess with dinner again.
Day 4 will be today.I didn't do on Sunday, I was too distracted with spending time with the family, and never got on the comp to read the day first.
For more info on Intentional parenting, go to Finding Joy. Find Day 2: Heart here and Day 1: Awake here.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Day 2: Heart
It's day 2 of intentional parenting (i'm also impressed with myself that I'm blogging two days in a row...), but anyways, if you missed day 1, click here.
To recap, I had to write 5 things I liked and disliked how I mothered, and spend 10 uninterrupted minutes just playing with Jacob. The time was great. If I'm intentional about putting everything down, it doesn't even factor in. We sat on the floor and played with putting toys in and out of a bag. Then he would run away shrieking and come running back to me. Such simple things, but Jacob was having a blast.
Today, is Heart. It's about how mothers cut themselves short on what they do. The task: write a letter of encouragement to yourself in 10 minutes. I'm going to set a timer, and just write, so if it seems like it rambles to you, this is my heart coming thru, with my brain trying to keep up!
Dear Nikki,
I know at times you feel overwhelmed with everything going on. That everything is spinning by so fast, and nothing is getting done. You feel guilty for the time you are away from Jacob at work, and feel guilty for not always being 100% there when you are with him. It seems like you clean constantly, with nothing ever getting done. That you are behind in 10,012 ways and you will never measure up to the kind of mother you "should" be. You feel like it's your fault with the way Jacob sleeps, and when stuff doesn't go as planned.
Don't.
You are doing the absolute best you can. THere is adjustment and timing, and all Jacob cares about is your love. YOU are his mommy. You are his world. He doesnt care if the dishes aren't done, or if you don't make some craft off of pinterest that is the best thing since sliced bread.
The love you have for that little boy is all consuming and overwhelming in it's entirety. It's hard to put someone else first when culture and media scream that it should be all about me and what I want. But you are succeeding at ignoring that pull, and knowing that it's not all about you. It's about your family. It's about Mike & Jacob, and Selby. It's what is best for us as a whole.
It's easy to get lost in the day to day routine and let details bog you down. Everything gets done, maybe not as soon as you would like, but is there a deadline on laundry? It will still be there, and there are still clean clothes in the closets.
Don't make choices that society thinks you need to. Look to the bible and decide what the priorities should be. Continue to make the choices that you have been, the ones that are with your family in mind and on your heart. Remember that one of the most important parts of your day is to spend time snuggling and loving Jacob. He won't be this small forever. Continue to make him feel like he is your everything, because you and Mike are his.
Show your love for him, teach him how to let go and laugh. He sees you being stressed, show him how you are when you are relaxed and laughing with him. Accept grace.
Love,
me
*See Rachel's post at Finding Joy here.*
To recap, I had to write 5 things I liked and disliked how I mothered, and spend 10 uninterrupted minutes just playing with Jacob. The time was great. If I'm intentional about putting everything down, it doesn't even factor in. We sat on the floor and played with putting toys in and out of a bag. Then he would run away shrieking and come running back to me. Such simple things, but Jacob was having a blast.
Today, is Heart. It's about how mothers cut themselves short on what they do. The task: write a letter of encouragement to yourself in 10 minutes. I'm going to set a timer, and just write, so if it seems like it rambles to you, this is my heart coming thru, with my brain trying to keep up!
Dear Nikki,
I know at times you feel overwhelmed with everything going on. That everything is spinning by so fast, and nothing is getting done. You feel guilty for the time you are away from Jacob at work, and feel guilty for not always being 100% there when you are with him. It seems like you clean constantly, with nothing ever getting done. That you are behind in 10,012 ways and you will never measure up to the kind of mother you "should" be. You feel like it's your fault with the way Jacob sleeps, and when stuff doesn't go as planned.
Don't.
You are doing the absolute best you can. THere is adjustment and timing, and all Jacob cares about is your love. YOU are his mommy. You are his world. He doesnt care if the dishes aren't done, or if you don't make some craft off of pinterest that is the best thing since sliced bread.
The love you have for that little boy is all consuming and overwhelming in it's entirety. It's hard to put someone else first when culture and media scream that it should be all about me and what I want. But you are succeeding at ignoring that pull, and knowing that it's not all about you. It's about your family. It's about Mike & Jacob, and Selby. It's what is best for us as a whole.
It's easy to get lost in the day to day routine and let details bog you down. Everything gets done, maybe not as soon as you would like, but is there a deadline on laundry? It will still be there, and there are still clean clothes in the closets.
Don't make choices that society thinks you need to. Look to the bible and decide what the priorities should be. Continue to make the choices that you have been, the ones that are with your family in mind and on your heart. Remember that one of the most important parts of your day is to spend time snuggling and loving Jacob. He won't be this small forever. Continue to make him feel like he is your everything, because you and Mike are his.
Show your love for him, teach him how to let go and laugh. He sees you being stressed, show him how you are when you are relaxed and laughing with him. Accept grace.
Love,
me
*See Rachel's post at Finding Joy here.*
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Intentional Parenting - Day One
One of the bloggers I absoluetely love reading is FindingJoy. She is a christian mother, with 6 kids, a MN mom. She writes these "Dear Mom" letters, and i swear, she is talking direcly to me. The other day, she posted on feeling discouraged that really hit home to me.
I have been wrestling with this. I feel discouraged in some of my choices and my actions. I feel like I don't measure up, that there is never enough time, that I am always behind. I feel like I am not an active participant in Jacob's life at times. That it's all just flying by as I sit there trying to figure out what is going on.
When i look at my day, yes, I spend time with Mike and Jacob, but it's not always quality time. Wake up, get ready (with either Mike or I watching Jacob), head to work, come home, depending on what's for dinner, i may have time to play with Jacob, otherwise making dinner. Eating, which takes about 1/2 an hour since Jacob hams it up at dinner. After dinner, it's about half an hour before bath. So we play on the floor with Jacob, but I'm not always actively involved. Sometimes I'm scrolling thu my phone, looking up recipes online, just distracted in general by what I need to do. Mike does bath with Jacob, during which time i clean up dinner, get stuff ready for the next day, pull out his clothes, make sure bedtime stuff is ready. Then we rock and nurse, and Jacob goes to sleep about 7:30.
After he's down, which is typically close to 8 by the time i get back downstairs, I'm thinking about laundry, the messy house, work, etc. Some nights we watch a tv show together, other nights I'm too busy doing things that seem essential.
I want to be intentional. I want to be active. I want to feel involved and not just like I'm preparing for the next day. I have felt like I'm always getting ready, but never enjoying the time i have. With the holidays coming up, I know it's just goign to get more busy and harder to be active unless I am intentional about it.
Luckily for me, Rachel at FindingJoy has several posts on being an intentional parent. Her writing inspires me, and makes me remember that i need to take the time to value what I do. I don't have to be a perfect mother, but i am the best mother for Jacob. He just wants his mommy, not 10,001 books, or toys that do all kinds of things. He wants me, my time, my love. And that is worth so much more than a clean house or a gourmet meal.
So, Day One, is Awake. I am going to post my progress each day and the new theme of the day. I want to be accountable for this, becuase it's important. If you want to join, go to her site, and start with day one. Let me know if you are doing it too! There is a journal with each day, that I will also list a condensed version of on here.
Day one: Start Thinking. 5 and 5
What are 5 things you love about how you mother:
I really did have to think on this. Why is it so much easier to come up with the changes then it is the things you do well? When I wrote down #2 on the change list, I thought I have been struggling with this for years. I have a bible verse written down, that i've had forever. It's posted on my computer at work:
Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble
on its own. ~Matthew 6:34
I'm excited to do this, to be intentional. To share the journey of it with you. To know that I don't have to be perfect, just be awake and aware.
I have been wrestling with this. I feel discouraged in some of my choices and my actions. I feel like I don't measure up, that there is never enough time, that I am always behind. I feel like I am not an active participant in Jacob's life at times. That it's all just flying by as I sit there trying to figure out what is going on.
When i look at my day, yes, I spend time with Mike and Jacob, but it's not always quality time. Wake up, get ready (with either Mike or I watching Jacob), head to work, come home, depending on what's for dinner, i may have time to play with Jacob, otherwise making dinner. Eating, which takes about 1/2 an hour since Jacob hams it up at dinner. After dinner, it's about half an hour before bath. So we play on the floor with Jacob, but I'm not always actively involved. Sometimes I'm scrolling thu my phone, looking up recipes online, just distracted in general by what I need to do. Mike does bath with Jacob, during which time i clean up dinner, get stuff ready for the next day, pull out his clothes, make sure bedtime stuff is ready. Then we rock and nurse, and Jacob goes to sleep about 7:30.
After he's down, which is typically close to 8 by the time i get back downstairs, I'm thinking about laundry, the messy house, work, etc. Some nights we watch a tv show together, other nights I'm too busy doing things that seem essential.
I want to be intentional. I want to be active. I want to feel involved and not just like I'm preparing for the next day. I have felt like I'm always getting ready, but never enjoying the time i have. With the holidays coming up, I know it's just goign to get more busy and harder to be active unless I am intentional about it.
Luckily for me, Rachel at FindingJoy has several posts on being an intentional parent. Her writing inspires me, and makes me remember that i need to take the time to value what I do. I don't have to be a perfect mother, but i am the best mother for Jacob. He just wants his mommy, not 10,001 books, or toys that do all kinds of things. He wants me, my time, my love. And that is worth so much more than a clean house or a gourmet meal.
So, Day One, is Awake. I am going to post my progress each day and the new theme of the day. I want to be accountable for this, becuase it's important. If you want to join, go to her site, and start with day one. Let me know if you are doing it too! There is a journal with each day, that I will also list a condensed version of on here.
Day one: Start Thinking. 5 and 5
What are 5 things you love about how you mother:
- Making different voices when reading to Jacob, he loves it
- Rocking, nursing, and singing at bedtime. This is our special time just the two of us, and I love it.
- Making it a priority to put Jacob and his needs first, whether it's a popular decision with others or not
- Our snuggle time in the morning when we wake up, but before i have to get up to get ready
- Choosing a daycare I love - they also help raise my son, and since he spends 8.5 hours a day there, I want to know he loves it too
- Being more patient at night when he wakes up a lot
- Not worrying/being distracted about tomorrow
- Being "there" with him, not distracted by phone/comp/etc
- Not feeling guilty about taking time for myself
- Starting more traditions as a family
I really did have to think on this. Why is it so much easier to come up with the changes then it is the things you do well? When I wrote down #2 on the change list, I thought I have been struggling with this for years. I have a bible verse written down, that i've had forever. It's posted on my computer at work:
Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble
on its own. ~Matthew 6:34
I'm excited to do this, to be intentional. To share the journey of it with you. To know that I don't have to be perfect, just be awake and aware.
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