Expectations

There are a lot of things that have not met my expectations about being a parent, and other things I did not expect at all.  I'm a planner, I like knowing what's going to happen and when.  I like to be able to rely that something is going to happen at a set time.

These past 2 years have challenged my expectations more than I could have thought possible.  While overall, the hopes and goals have been met, it was not on the timeline I thought it should/would be.  God definetly had a few laughs over my plans....

Last weekend was my brother's grad party from college.  He has a degree in criminal justice, and plans on becoming a cop.  We went up to celebrate with him, and had fun.  Then the witching hour started rolling in, aka 7:00 pm.  Jacob NEEDS to be in bed by 7 we have found.  If not, there is complete hell to pay by him waking up about every 30-60 minutes all night. 

I NEVER wanted to be one of "those" parents that had to leave a function, or plan their day around the baby's sleep schedule.  I wanted to be the kind where the kid could roll with the punches, and sleep wherever; whenever.  That we could lay him down when he got sleepy, and if it was past "normal" bedtime, no biggie, he will just sleep in the next day.  That playing outside or with family would have wore him out, and blissful sleep would have taken over and he would be a snuggly cute sleeping until the next morning.

Yea, God has had a LOT of laughs over my plans.

So far, it's only been one night that he has only woken up once.  A "good" night is waking up twice, an average night is 3 times, the past few nights, has been about every 30-60 minutes ALL NIGHT (granted, he has a stomach bug, so that's why).

But, it sucks having to leave when everyone else is there, and trying to explain to people why you are leaving.  It seems like most people i know were blessed with the expected sleep babies.  People think we should keep him later, cuz he will "sleep in".  Umm, nope, he won't.  Want to come stay the night at our house?  Camping is a nightmare at bedtime.  It takes a good hour of fighting to get him down.  But when we just let him crash on his own, we fight him the entire night, and he's up at the crack of dawn. 

This was not the kind of parent I expected to be.  I hope it's a "phase", that in the future he will be easier at sleep, but I don't expect it.  As a breastfed baby, I didn't expect him to have that many ear infections.  He had 4 (two double) in a 2 month time.  I am realistic, I know not everything will go as I plan or want, but the expectations that have been challenged, are some that I just didn't think could be any different.

I expect to have challenges with a baby.  I know that there would be sleepless nights, and sick nights, and jsut plan off nights.  But I didn't think it would be every night.  I expect to raise my son a certain way.  He will have discipline, structure, manners, limited tv/comp time, rules, and a big one to me, not say the word "hate".  I really dislike when I hear little kids say "I hate ______". 

He will also have unconditional love, his needs met, a stable environment to thrive in, a faithfilled journey, and lots of laughs and hugs.  I know this post sounds really negative at the beginning, but it's just frustration with circumstances that will pass, and expectations that need to be reevaluated.  I guess if I'm one of "those" parents, so be it.  At least I can look forward to a somewhat restful night of sleep.



This face says it all...