I had dinner with a friend last night. One who has encouraged me, challenged me to be better, forced me out of my box. I love friends like that. Ones who see the person you can be, and push you (in a gentle manner) to be that person, to help you see who they see. (if that makes sense.)
She is a large factor as to why I started my own bible study group. I have been wanting to join one again for awhile, but just wasnt finding quite what I was looking for. I wrestled with starting my own group. Could I truly lead a group of women, when I feel like I am still learning God's grace and love on a daily basis? I didnt trust that I could. Finally, I did it. And as much as I would love to say it instantly took off it didnt.
My group was listed for about a month, before I had anyone contact me. That is like torture. I questioned myself. I questioned if this was the path God was leading me on, or if I was just "hearing" what I wanted to. I felt rejected. I had put myself out there, on the line, and nothing.
But, I should know by now, God does things on his time, not mine. (I'm sure it's not a lesson I have mastered yet either). And one by one, I started getting emails from girls from church I had never met. Women who wanted fellowship. Mother's who wanted to raise their children in Christ's love. During this time, I had also met one of our new neighbors who has a son 4 months older than Jacob. I had joked (kinda, was half serious) with Mike that I was going to start stalking her, and make her be my friend. I don't know a lot of moms in my area, especially with young boys.
She had invited us to her son's bday party, and of course Jacob approved since there were John Deere's and cake involved, and I was even more committed to my stalking project when their family prayed before the birthday meal. (In full disclosure, I have told my neighbor about my stalking plans, and luckily she still talks to me :))
I decided to go out on a limb and invite her to join my group. It was another one of those moments I wrestled, and sweated buckets over. I mean seriously, I didnt want to come across as the crazy neighbor (which I'm sure I did) and I could count on one hand the amount of times I've talked to her.
So, there started my group. Two girls I have never met, and another one I practically hog tied and drug to my house. It has been the best thing for my faith, sanity, and motherhood this year. We now have 5 of us, and meet every week.
I realized I don't need all the answers. And they are not looking for all the answers. Just to be able to have friends you can share the day to day mundane child rearing, mother guilt, wife tasks, etc, and have people who understand is phenomenal. I love Monday nights. I feel so light hearted, and inspired by these women.
It makes me a better mom, wife, me, and Christ follower. I have new ideas on prayer with Jacob, on how to show him Christ's love, and knowing I dont need to be perfect. I'm so excited to see where God leads us, and how we will grow and challenge each other.
In case you are wondering we finished Out of the Spin Cycle this past week. I would HIGHLY recommend it to mother's looking for a humorous, as well as thought provoking book. The chapters are short, so it's easy to read even if you are in the trenches of motherhood. If you do read it, let me know, I would LOVE to see what your thoughts are one it!
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