Heart Melting Sleep

Dear Jacob,

You are now 11 months old.  Please let your momma sleep one night....just one.  That's all I'm asking for.  Then you can be a terror of the night for another few months.  I know, you are so flippin cute, and you make the funniest sounds when you wake up.  You love to point at the fan, and coo at us.  You will sit up, snuggle with your blankie, and topple over onto one of us in the most heartmelting of ways, which is really, really lucky.

See how cute I am with a leaf on my head?

Because at night, you are so not cute.  You are a terror of epic proportions.  I didn't think it could get worse than when you had HFM, but alas, you proved me wrong.  It can get worse, like up-every-60- minutes-and-only-nursing-will-satisfy-you worse.

It makes me want to rip my hair out and bash my head against a wall.  Then, you snuggle in all comfy cozy, clutching your blankie, and your little eyes get droopy, and your sweet lil scent is in my nose.  And my heart melts.  Again.

And I can even be cute with my back to you

Then you wake up screaming like a banshee and nothing will console you.  Daddy walks with you, nope, I walk with you, nope.  We rock.  You scream.  I vow I will not give in this time.  You scream some more.  I give in. 

I then vow that tonight, I will not give in and nurse you until midnight....Yea....Guess how often that has happened?  I swear that tonight you will CIO....yep, that still hasn't happened either....

Because then, in the morning, you hand me your coveted blankie, and then giggle like mad when I snuggle with it.  And my heart melts.

I love your lion hat, and the new face you make

See what a ham I can be?

 

 

But please Jacob, stop holding us in our sleep deprived prison sentence, I'm BEGGING you... I love you more then I ever could have imagined, which is lucky, because I think I would have severly hurt anyone who messes with my sleep like you do, including your daddy.

 

 

You are worth the lack of sleep, and when you snuggle with me in the morning, it is one of the best parts of my day.  And it makes up for the screaming monster you were just 2 short hours ago (if i'm lucky that you sleep that long of a stretch).  And even though one of our greatest anniversary gifts was you, one that would rank a close second would be if you slept for one night...

 

Love,

Your sleep deprived momma