We influence our children. THey see us doing things, and they pick up on it and copy us. Little girls will talk to their dolly's the way they hear their mothers talk. Little boys will learn how to make motor noises and push lawnmowers watching their dad's "work". I say "work" because Mike says he's working, but I know he really enjoys doing the yard work. So i can't just call it work, because laundry and dishes are work, and i don't seem to derive the same joy from that as I see he does from playing with motors and chainsaws... But I digress...
So, as much as we don't want them to, they also pick up our bad traits. They will talk in a tone of voice, or repeat a phrase you say, that you probably didnt even realize. They will witness where your true priorities lie. Do you say no to doing something with them becuase you are "busy" on the computer? You tell them to pray, but do they see you pray?
Today's journal was to take my list from Day One and look to see which ones Jacob does. (one thing i've realized from this activity - would work much better with older kids). SO, i really don't see any of my 5 changes being portrayed by him yet. But, the good thing is I can work on these so hopefully I never do see them!
I picked one thing i want to change now, which is being distracted by media (phone/comp/etc). I dont want Jacob to see me look at my phone first thing, or start up the computer on the weekends. I want him to be my first chunk of time being spent on. Becuase I want to influence him that the people around him are more important then what is on a phone or ipad.
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| Making silly faces at dinner |
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| Looking all snazzy in his vest (btw, this is the LEAST blurry pic i got of him, he didnt want to sit still) |
Day 8: work
We need to teach our children to work. Both Mike and I agree that we don't want to raise Jacob to feel he is entitled to everything, but that he needs to work for it. We are taught values, and work is not the funnest value to be taught, but is one of the most worthwhile.
Our society teaches that if you want it, you should have it. Who cares what the consequences are. Who cares if you don't deserve it or didn't earn it. You are entitled to it.
I don't buy into that. And if i have any say in it, neither will Jacob.
Journal questions:
What do you value about work? I love my job. it took me awhile to find one i really like, but I love it now, and it was worth everything I did to get here. I love the security it gives us, I like feeling valued, and that i contribute.
What do I teach (or plan to) to Jacob about the value of work? Mike and I agree that college is a given, not a choice. It's a sacrifice of time & money, but we believe it's a necessity in life. The reward for going, a job that will provide the life you want. A way to open doors to experiences and opportunities that would not be available otherwise. I want to teach Jacob to take pride in his work. That no matter what job you have, to do your best and give it everything you can. To take responsibility for your career, and earn it. Not expect to be given stuff.
What are simple things I can do to incorporate an attitude of gratitude around work? Make it fun. Work isn't always fun, but you do have a choice in your attitude. We plan on having chores, and Jacob will help around the house, ie picking up his toys, once he's at the age of being able to. I have a feeling that he will enjoy "working" with his dad out in the yard.
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