Heart Melting Sleep

Dear Jacob,

You are now 11 months old.  Please let your momma sleep one night....just one.  That's all I'm asking for.  Then you can be a terror of the night for another few months.  I know, you are so flippin cute, and you make the funniest sounds when you wake up.  You love to point at the fan, and coo at us.  You will sit up, snuggle with your blankie, and topple over onto one of us in the most heartmelting of ways, which is really, really lucky.

See how cute I am with a leaf on my head?

Because at night, you are so not cute.  You are a terror of epic proportions.  I didn't think it could get worse than when you had HFM, but alas, you proved me wrong.  It can get worse, like up-every-60- minutes-and-only-nursing-will-satisfy-you worse.

It makes me want to rip my hair out and bash my head against a wall.  Then, you snuggle in all comfy cozy, clutching your blankie, and your little eyes get droopy, and your sweet lil scent is in my nose.  And my heart melts.  Again.

And I can even be cute with my back to you

Then you wake up screaming like a banshee and nothing will console you.  Daddy walks with you, nope, I walk with you, nope.  We rock.  You scream.  I vow I will not give in this time.  You scream some more.  I give in. 

I then vow that tonight, I will not give in and nurse you until midnight....Yea....Guess how often that has happened?  I swear that tonight you will CIO....yep, that still hasn't happened either....

Because then, in the morning, you hand me your coveted blankie, and then giggle like mad when I snuggle with it.  And my heart melts.

I love your lion hat, and the new face you make

See what a ham I can be?

 

 

But please Jacob, stop holding us in our sleep deprived prison sentence, I'm BEGGING you... I love you more then I ever could have imagined, which is lucky, because I think I would have severly hurt anyone who messes with my sleep like you do, including your daddy.

 

 

You are worth the lack of sleep, and when you snuggle with me in the morning, it is one of the best parts of my day.  And it makes up for the screaming monster you were just 2 short hours ago (if i'm lucky that you sleep that long of a stretch).  And even though one of our greatest anniversary gifts was you, one that would rank a close second would be if you slept for one night...

 

Love,

Your sleep deprived momma

Crockpot Chicken Enchiladas

I made this last night, and it was so yummy & easy, I had to share it right away!

When I made it, I doubled the recipe, thinking I would have leftovers.  I do have leftovers, but not as much as i thought i would!  But, will throw the rest in the freezer and have a quick meal when I need it.

Crockpot Chicken Enchiladas:
Package of chicken breasts
Can of Enchilada Sauce
1/2 pack of Taco Seasoning  (i used whole pack since i doubled everything)
Shredded Cheese
Green Onions
Flour Tortillas

Optional: 
Corn Bread
Cilantro
Guac
Lettuce
Tomatoes
Black Beans (not optional in our house, Jacob LOVES them)

Throw the first 3 ingredients into the crockpot on low for the day.
Shred the chicken, dump some of the sauce in CP over the shredded chicken, add cheese and onions.

*Since i was making corn bread, i popped the pan of ckn and cheese in the oven for about 10 min to melt the cheese more, delicious, but not necessary)

Put on tortillas, with your favorite toppings.  I love the 100 cal packs of guacamole. Mike doesnt like guac, but I love it.  It's a waste to make it myself, since it doesn't last.  THe packs are the perfect amount, and you can freeze them, so when I put the leftovers in the freezer, I throw a guac pack in also, so i have one for the next time!

Organizing my life

I've realized to keep my sanity, (or to sate the control freak in me) I need to organize things in my life.  The "routine" i thought i had is over.  Before it was part time work, and being home.  Now, i'm back to work FT and still trying to be the mom I think I should be, maintain a household, be a wife, be a friend, somewhere find time to be "me".  



Rules and Meals

One of the first things I did was make a board to list meals weekly.  THis way, I'm not stressed about what to have for dinner, i have an easy list for groceries, and to cut grocery bills

The calendar not only has meals, but to write on here what's going on for the week.  I bought the pic frams at Target, bought some cute paper from Joanns, and use dry erase markers to change it.  To help with this, i also bought a weekly meal plan.  The plan has dinner for 7 days plus the grocery list.  So far, we've had a few different items, and have liked most.  SOon, i will do a post with some recipes and a sample plan of what we have.

THe other board is house rules.  Most of these are biblically based, and a lot are from the sermon I talked about last week.  They are a daily, visible reminder of what values we want to raise our family with.  There are also some more general ones.  Rules:  Be kind, be patient, give hugs & kisses, share your toys, your day, your love, remember we will always love you, speak the truth in love, and listen & encourage.  I was specific in how i worded the rules.  I wanted them to be positive, not negative, ie, no yelling, no this, no that.

So far, in the 2 wks we have used it, it's been helpful to have the meals.  We will see how long i stay on top of it....

Jacob pre surgery, playing wiht a car

Jacob's surgery is over!! yea!! he did well, and we were there for just over 24 hours, home by 10 on Saturday!  He's recovered well, been crabby a few days, but overall good.

Beating feet across theyard, didnt like the feel of the dead grass

Look Mommy!!!  I'm HELPING!! :)

Part of the deal with me going back FT, is Mike picks up cooking at least one night a week and he takes care of the dishes.  Jacob didn't want to be a slacker, so he helps with the unrolling of the tp.  Good thing, it was very stressful taking the time to pull the tp off ourselves....

Sunday

On Friday, Mike and I agreed we needed to make it a priority to get to church over the weekend.  It has been awhile (again) and I have used the same excuses (again), ie it's Jacob's naptime, or he nurses then, or whatever else you want to fill in. 

No matter how you look at it, we were making priorities, and not the best ones.

So, Sunday morning, we went to the 9 am service.  When we arrived, a friend who works for EBC, came up to me and said, if i didn't see you this weekend, i was going to email you.  YES, I need that.  I need to be held accountable.  I need to realize that us not being there is noticed.  I miss seeing her.  I used to see her at least once a week.  Now, unless I make it to church, I'm lucky to see her once a month. 

The sermon was on Love One Another.  It was EXTREMELY well timed and much needed.  Basically, the ones you love are the ones you hurt the most.  And, there are 3 things to do to show your love:

1. Be devoted to a few
2. Be truthful with each other
3. Overlook each other's faults

The first is something I have REALLY worked on the past few years.  I learned (with help) to say no.  No to extra things, no to uncessary things, no to keep my sanity.  How can you truly be devoted to hundreds of people?  you can't.  So pick a few.  I know who my few are, and now to work on the rest.

Bob spoke about ways to show love, be kind, be devoted, encourage, speak the truth in love, BE PATIENT, and forgive one another.  I have defintely not been these things lately (besides to Jacob).  I've been stressed, nagging, and def not patient.  Rather than snapping an answer, and then wondering why the conversation is over, I need to practice patience and kindness.  I need to work on overlooking faults. I have them, and I wouldnt want someone to constantly point them out to me, and if they did, I hope it would be in a loving way, which i have also not done. 

I have a choice in how I respond, and lately, I'm not liking my choices.  Thank God for grace. 

The sermon was what I needed.  A reminder.  A nudge.  A wake up call.  I want things to go a certain way, and then when they don't I wonder why.  A harsh word, an intentional sigh, a look.  A verse from our wedding to remind me of that day:

Love is patient and kind...it doesn't demand its own way, is not easily angered, and keeps no records of wrongs.  1 Cor. 13:4-5

And since Sunday, I've slipped, and it's only Tuesday.  I've apologized, probably not as much as I should.  This morning, EBC posted the 3 things again on FB.  Another nudge.  It's a new day, try again. 

Be patient.  Be kind.  Be loving. Here's the whole sermon if you are interested.

And guess what?   We were home, Jacob nursed, and asleep by 10:35....Now, depending on the surgery will decide on this Sunday for church.  But, the following weekend I will be there.  And the weekend after that.  So Kar, if I'm not there, email me.  Because I sometimes I need a nudge, other times, it takes a sledgehammer.

Wordy Wednesday

Random thoughts...

1.  I have been consumed with reading up on weaning.  I thought it was supposed to be "natural", "easy", "intuitive", "insert other big words here", but it's not.  It's confusing and complicated.  I'm sick of pumping, but don't want to run out of stashed milk before a year.  And I want to stop pumping at work at the end of October, and will continue to nurse in the morning and at night as long as Jacob wants, or until I get tired of it.  Honestly, if i was a SAHM, I would probably continue to nurse until he lost interest.  I love the extra snuggles and the health benefits of it.  For us it's a good fit.  Pumping though is a pain.

2.  We now pay more for daycare than we do our mortgage.  Ouch.  But, i LOVE LOVE LOVE his daycare, so it's worth every penny.

3.  It's hard to believe in a month and a half I will have a one year old.  My lil boy is getting so big.

4.  It sucks working two days in a row.  Technically, w/ Labor Day, surgery on Friday next week, which means the following week has Monday off also, I won't work a full 5 day week until the last week of September.  But it's only day 2, and I'm not liking this work everyday deal. 

5.  We have new tenants in our building at work. I am extremely jealous cuz they have a foosball table.  Really, I want to go work where i can play foosball and get paid for it.

6.  Before, Jacob refused to let us feed him, and loved to eat veggies.  For about the past week, he won't eat table food veggies for me, but will let me feed him the baby food veggies, and mix in the table food.  Fruit, turkey and black beans are by far the fav foods.

7.  Jacob LOVES to have us read to him.  The same 3 books, over, and over, and over.  I can now repeat these 3 books w/o looking at the pages.  But it is super cute when he gets a book and works SO hard to crawl over to you while carrying it.

8. For as much as he loves his Sesame Street At The Zoo book, he did not care when we actually took him to the zoo.  Maybe next year.

9.  I'm ready for fall and all things pumpkin.

10.  I'm already going through Netflix withdrawals being back at work.  Got hooked to way to many shows and Pinterest. 

11.  Took a trip to the apple orchard, sad it didn't work out to go with the Wildts, but nap time got in the way. 

Blogs Worth Reading

Ok, I know I just did a blog, but i had to share two things with all of you, or the two that I know follow....
Sometimes, it feels like I type this long thing, and POOF!  off it goes into the world, and know one notices.
(If a tree falls, in the forest, do we hear it, do we care? RE-cycle, RE-cycle, recyle now, there's nothing to it if you just now how...4th (?) grade concert at school...)

Anyways, there were two great blog posts I had read this week, on both spectrums.  One is serious, and I emailed to a lot of my friends, just becuase I felt it had lifted my spirits, and wanted to pass it on to others, and the other one will be humorous to any friends who have coslept with their baby, and if you have no kids, keep in mind for if you do cosleep (or dont, either way, no judging from me!!)

http://thehonesttoddler.com/big-bed/
I want to have a rational discussion about the big bed. I am a reasonable human being and don’t like to see anybody get their feelings hurt.
Daddy, this post is specifically for you as I can tell you are struggling with your place in this family during the night hours. The question looms every single evening: Who does mommy belong to?
It’s easy for me to point out the obvious fact that she and I are blood relatives while you two seem to have some sort of contractual relationship, but I want to acknowledge your emotional problems. Who wouldn’t want to snuggle with her? She’s soft and smells great.....

On a side note, Adam would disagree that his momma smells great.... Bahahaha smelly armpits!!

http://rachelmariemartin.blogspot.com/2012/08/dear-sweet-mom-who-feels-like-she-is.html

Dear Sweet mom who feels like she is failing,

You're not.

If you and I were sitting in Starbucks and you had your fave drink and I had my Caramel Macchiato I'd look at you, and I'd tell you the truth - you're not failing.

I know. I'm guessing, you'd wipe away the tears, and look up, and try to nod your head, but inside, inside well, you'd think that those are nice words but seriously she has no idea. You know why I know? Because I've sat in a coffee shop, across from a friend, a friend who looked me smack in the face and told me that I wasn't failing and that I was doing a great job....

Baking Shenanigans

So, if you know me, you know I love to bake.  Typically I bake without issues.  Yes, my kitchen is a COMPLETE disaster, and I eat more dough than I bake, but Saturday was more than a mess in my kitchen.

I had a zucchini to bake up, and since Jacob was taking an epic nap, I figured I would bake up something pumpkin as well. Both had massive issues.  And there are several witnesses.

With the zucchini, Mike had wanted a chocolate cake.  The recipe is listed below, it's really good with ice cream.  So I mixed the cake, poured it in the bundt pan and popped it in the oven.

While that was baking, I started on the Pumpkin Pops.  I had mixed up all the dough when the Wildt family showed up to visit.  While the boys stole toys from each other (the little boys, not the big boys...) I figured  I would get the pumpkin baking.  As I am pouring the batter into the muffin tins, I heard some popping in the oven.  I opened the oven, and thought my pan had shattered.

There was white batter dripping onto the bottom.  Note the color, i was making a chocolate cake...

I said to Serena and Mike, that I thought the pan cracked.  So, I pulled the pan out, and realized it was applesauce.  I lifted up the pan, and wedged in the middle of the underside was a package of applesauce.  Seriously. 

I must have set the bundt pan on top of the container and put in the oven without realizing it.  (I did test my theory later last night, and yes, it does stick.  The container was in the oven for about 40 minutes before it started leaking.  Mike popped the container off, and back into the oven it went.  (Side note, cake still tastes yummy!)

So, after that fiasco, I finish baking the pumpkin pops.  I'm talking with Serena (obviously not a good combo for me and baking.)  Once they are done baking, I melted the butter, added the cinammon and sugar, and tried to roll the pumpkin pop in the butter.  While doing this i realized the stupidity in what i had done, and Serena got to watch the lightbulb finally click in my brain. 

Yes, I was supposed to melt the butter.  And mix sugar and cinammon.  But not mix the two together.  And I did try, but no, it does not work to roll the pumpkin in the sugar butter. 

So, I then started from scratch with new butter, and proceeded to run out of both cinammon and sugar.  So, half of the bites aren't sugared, but they still taste good.  Luckily, it all still tastes good, but seriously, I dont even know how the thought even crossed my mind that I should dump the sugar into melted butter...

Pumpkin Poppers

• 1 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp. nutmeg
• 1/2 tsp. allspice
• 1/8 tsp. ground cloves
• 1/3 cup vegetable oil
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup pumpkin
• 1/2 cup milk

For Coating

• 1 stick unsalted butter, melted
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 2 tbsp. cinnamon
• Preheat oven to 350 F and spray mini muffin tins with non-stick cooking spray.
  
  Combine flour, baking soda,salt, and spices in a bowl and whisk until combine.
  
  In another bowl, mix oil, brown sugar, egg, vanilla, pumpkin, and milk.  Pour in flour mixture and mix until just combined.  Fill mini muffin tins until almost full and bake 10-12 minutes. 
  
  Melt butter in small bowl.  Mix sugar and cinnamon in a separate small bowl.  After popper cool for a few minutes, dip them in the butter and roll them in the sugar mixture.  Enjoy.  :)

Zucchini Chocolate Cake

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 cups white sugar
• 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 4 eggs
• 1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
• 3 cups grated zucchini
• 3/4 cup choc chips

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour a 9x13 inch baking pan.
2. In a medium bowl, stir together the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon. Add the eggs and oil, mix well. Fold in the chips and zucchini until they are evenly distributed. Pour into the prepared pan.
3. Bake for 50 to 60 minutes in the preheated oven, until a knife inserted into the center comes out clean. Cool cake completely before frosting with your favorite frosting.